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“Dear President Russell M. Nelson,
For centuries, the pope has been addressed as Your Holiness, and they call the Dalai Lama the Enlightened One, and that Hindu Bhagwan fellow is the Fortunate One, and I have it on good authority the ayatollah prefers the title His Excellency, A Most Divine Judge of Beards. I know you know this. You are the prophet, seer, and revelator of the one true Church. Yes, sir. The Mormons. You knew before anyone else if the sun would rise this morning. You know my middle school science project was how Mozart makes lima beans grow faster. You know my wife ran off with the guy who sells lawnmowers on TV. You know what I ate for breakfast. You know what you ate for breakfast. Hell, you probably know what Jesus ate for breakfast. You know, even if you don’t know you know right this second, that I am just off Route 59 writing this letter. You know you are the prophet, but I’m going to call you brother, brother prophet, because that was good enough for Jesus, which is precisely why I’m writing.”
So begins “Dispatches from Kolob” an award-winning piece from Ryan Habermeyer now in marvelous audio form. Listen in to Dialogue Out Loud #33.