Articles/Essays – Volume 55, No. 1
Benediction
Podcast version of this piece.
Here’s the truth: My faith remains
tepid. Lukewarm as summer rain.
Spew-worthy. A compass in fragments, I saved
pieces: base plate, arrow, needle.
Reassembly is beyond me. Millennia ago,
I stood on a street corner & thumped
my brick of scripture. Made my mouth
a spout. A megaphone. In the forest of now
there are a thousand paths
with no signs. Where is the boat launch? Where the islands
cleaving mist? My feet fall
led by whim, by tug. I try
anyway. What I can’t name
I name new, sift
old silt for any speck
that glitters. What shines
in the palm: bird call, blue eggshell.
A breast, handcup of milk. God
has lived in a stone house
hewn by men’s hands
for so long. I seek
entrance to earthen chambers, mounds
that swallow solstice. There I see them,
Elohim, female & male, but choose
her: Mother, the hem
of her robe a garment
I’d like to touch: her face
my mother’s face, her eyes
my daughters’ eyes. I want a god
soft as dough, yeasty, caught in a wooden bowl
at the edge of dawn’s field, rising
on my stove. But, oh—if there’s anything
I can expressly say I know, it’s this: I bear witness
to my penchant for bitter soil,
barren figs. Tending my goats, I make a house
of doubt. I build sanctuaries
of sand, altars to unknowing,
cover them with my thoughts’
intricate lace, upon which I place a nest,
a cradle. And yet, I confess I believe
this world can’t be healed, its bleeding
staunched, unless
we listen
to midwives who for ages
have been coaxing forth
from their own minds our hidden
Mother. So let’s
ready salves, unguents, salt & muslin for her
urgent redelivery, what could be
this earth-redeeming,
salvific Mother-work.
You, Dear Reader, could be a midwife.
Who am I to say? Maybe
you already are
massaging perineum with sunflower oil,
hands bracing her crown.
Note: The Dialogue Foundation provides the web format of this article as a courtesy. Please note that there may be unintentional differences from the printed version. For citational and biographical purposes, please use the printed version or the PDFs provided online and on JSTOR.