Finding Our Voices | April Daniels and Carol Scott, Paperdolls: Healing from Sexual Abuse in Mormon Neighborhoods

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Media accounts of sexual abuse of children regularly remind us that children continue to be sexually assaulted by adults and juveniles in their communities. Almost always, the perpetrator is someone known and trusted by the child, for who else could get close enough to violate in such an intimate and destructive way? Children are easily manipulated; their lack of experience and dependence make them vulnerable to the adults around them. Often abused children exhibit no obvious signs. And too many adults choose to deny what signs there are rather than cope with the horrible things that are being done to their children. 

Paperdolls offers the accounts of two adults, one a survivor of repeated sexual assault by neighbors and family, the other a grandmother of abused children, both who courageously give voice to the reality of this violation of the sacred stewardship given to adults. The authors use pseudonyms, not to protect perpetrators, but out of respect for those who have not yet remembered their abuse. Many adults molested as children are as yet unaware of the abuse or are not ready to deal with it. This book is about remembering abuse, the remembering triggered by a variety of events such as smells, stories, pictures, or dreams. The authors permit the reader to enter the private recesses of their lives, past and present. Woven together beautifully, the stories of these women and children give the reader shocking insight that calls caring adults to action, to open their eyes, empower children and to address the societal ills which allow sexual abuse to continue. 

This book reveals more than the abuse endured by these particular children. In a spectacular way, it illuminates the inner workings of the mind and memory. It shows the incredible ability of people to cope, heal, and take control of their lives. It demonstrates the importance of skilled therapists and loving supporters in this healing process. In the literature of sexual abuse, this book will stand out for the pioneering view it presents of memories unfolding, dis jointed and nonsensical, until they become connected and incorporated. 

April Daniels’ story unfolds through journal entries she kept as part of her treatment therapy for bulimia, an illness common in those who have been sexually abused as children. Her memories reveal the language and inexperience of childhood: “Sometimes I got toys from the man across the street. I used to call him the ‘Toy Box Man.’ He had a shoe box under his bed, and after we played nasty he would give me a toy. I always got to pick which one I wanted. . . . He wasn’t a daddy, but he was old” (p. 134).

Her writings also make us look at the images and symbols Latter-day Saints use to teach gospel principles and to consider the perspective of someone whose free agency and body rights have been denied. Many readers will relate to April’s Beehive teacher’s use of the image of a daisy being plucked to demonstrate the ugliness of sexual sin in a lesson on chastity. April writes, “I didn’t know all the meanings of her words, like ‘chastity’, ‘virtue’, and ‘petting.’ But I got the gist of the lesson. I knew that my beauty was gone. I could never be restored. I knew that I was nothing more than a bare bulb. I never went back to Beehives” (p. 79). 

As an adult, April visits a friend who is a Beehive teacher and sits in on her lesson, which just happens to be on chastity. Afterwards, she asks her friend, “What about the incest victims? There are kids right here in this ward who are being victimized right now. . . . I’m certain that a couple of them just had their hearts wrung through a wringer” (p. 79). 

Carol Scott’s story illustrates the difficulty of recognizing sexual abuse and the pernicious methods abusers use to escape detection. A well-educated psychologist, Carol suddenly finds herself dealing with the repeated sexual abuse of her grandchildren by their father and others, including members of their ward and a teenage babysitter. Only with the benefit of hindsight does she recognize the few subtle signs which hinted that something was wrong in her grandchildren’s lives. As with most of us, she had not acknowledged that sexual abuse could happen in her family, in her wealthy neighborhood, indeed that it exists in all levels of society. 

An additional frustration for Carol is the unresponsive ecclesiastical leaders who value the reputations of seemingly righteous men and women more than the lives of children. The refusal of leaders throughout the hierarchy to believe the undeniable and consistent experiences of these children and their therapists so they can protect other children under the abuser’s care is unconscionable and a function of the low status our society accords children. 

Carol Scott writes that her friend who was molested and read the manuscript said, “Tell the perpetrators our greatest weapon against them is our voices. When we were little, we had only silence. We have to find our voices” (p. x). Now that we have their weapon, it is up to all of us to find our voices, to act to protect and believe children, to listen, withhold judgment, and prevent it from continuing. We can become educated and support organizations that are working to eradicate this practice from our neighborhoods. We can talk with our children about sexual abuse, so they will feel safe to question what other adults may be saying and doing. 

Reading Paperdolls is painful, but the authors’ love, sincerity, and compelling accounts make it easier. The compassion of these women and the enormous difficulty of their task of healing were inspiring and a monument to the triumph of the human spirit. In a world where violence is omnipresent, it is refreshing to come in contact with those who seek no revenge or violence in spite of oppressive and outrageous acts committed against them. This book urges the reader to face the reality of the sexual abuse and molestation of Latter-day Saint children by fellow Saints and hopefully to do something about it. 

Paperdolls: Healing from Sexual Abuse in Mormon Neighborhoods by April Daniels and Carol Scott (Salt Lake City: Palingenesia Press, 1992), 203 pp., $9.95.