Getting Out/ Staying In: One Mormon/ Gay Marriage: Staying In

by Ben Christensen
Originally published in Fall 2005
I WROTE “GETTING OUT” as a somewhat naive twenty-four-year-old. Now I return, in theory a wise and mature twenty-five-year-old. Inevitably, I’ll find whatever I write here equally naive a year from now. I don’t know whether this is a function of being young, human, or simply me. Whatever the case, I appreciate life’s opportunities to be constantly learning, including the opportunity that well-written essays such as those by Ron Schow and Marybeth Raynes give me to reflect on myself and question my assumptions.
Perhaps the greatest shift in my perspective on homosexuality in the last year is echoed in comments made by Ron and Marybeth. Ron refers to my implication that my only options were marrying a woman or running off to San Francisco to embrace “rampant queerness.” He points out: “There are many choices between these two extremes.” I think I found myself in this “either/or” mentality because of a shallow understanding of love and sex. In “Getting Out,” I say, “My attraction to Jessie . . . came entirely from my heart. On the other hand, [my attraction to men] was purely a libido thing.”
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