Articles/Essays – Volume 39, No. 4
Reflections on Darkness and Light
I The Asking
After having retired to the place I had designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction. But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. (JS—H 1:15-17)
All that has gone before makes the now, somehow.
Whys are sucked deep into the darkened spirit’s
black hole where desperate reaching retrieves
distraught questions from God’s battered children.
Response comes in increments,
not yes or no, butmaybe, no matter, not yet.
Born through a veiled past
we experiment upon the Word;
begin the long quest to fade shadow into light
only to realize, when the tests
and pleadings for help are done,
that we have to write our own answers.
II The Setting
How long will you choose darkness rather than light? (Hel. 13:29)
Disembodied in darkness
sightless
there is only what we feel
what we grapple for
Actors, chained to fear,
flailing ourselves with other’s lives
performing on an unlit stage,
the curtains closed
Voices of an invisible audience
taunting
III The Awakening
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. (Isa. 9:2)
Let us chant a litany to day
with its certainty of sun
its lavishness of light;
to fires that appease the specter of night;
to the spark within
that is the hugeness of us all,
that lights our dreams, our visions
and causes us to yearn
for an unfathomable love.
IV The Testing
The light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed. (D&C 88:13)
Why not a passion for the source
to counter dark’s obsession?
See how lightning lashes at the night,
how the prudent carry lanterns into caves
to wrestle both angels and demons,
how focused beams transform matter.
Wave, particle, quantum,
aspects of the whole.
In a universe made of
shards of shattered stars
the shadows the light.
V Double Helix
We were in the beginning. Intelligence, or the light of truth was not cre ated or made, neither indeed can be. The body filled with light compre hends all things. (D&C 88:67)
We come knowing
but don’t know we know
eons encrypted, spiraled
inside us, encoded in an
infinitude of atomic light
Intervolved between shadow
and sun, life breeds in darkness,
intaglioed leaves dying
their golden death crumble
and decay into the entropic
dregs that infuse nascent
roots with opposed force
to push stems, leaves
flowers towards visible
light, while we, in the
night, like blossoms
triggered by dusk
effloresce dreams and
visions illumined from
within to bloom in the
gardens in our minds
Let there be light and
there was . . . is . . . in
all things, through
all things, brilliant, bright